i say i love eu bibix3

Saturday, May 31 ♠

wednesday.. the night ... my girl tell me that she wanna leave me.. that night when she said that .. my soul .i feel that it is gone...leaving my body infront of my computer..still chatting with her.. i wanted to ask her dnt leave me.. plss... but i knw i cnnt be so self-fish.. and i tell her can i still be ur audi bf.. she said ... yes..that night i cnt slp .. i finally know wat kind of feeling is it like to lose the one eu love deeply... i feel like crying.. and i smoked the entire packet of ciggerate .. the whole night i couldnt slp.... the nxt day .. my friends saw me in sch .. like a living dead .. without its soul.. i was so depress.. so sad... i dnt wan her to leave me nooo...
in sch i on my com.. suddenly she told me.. "y nver ask me dnt leave eu.. i was testing eu.. wth.. like that then really we break lo.." when i see this my heart sank even deeper.. inside me.. i reply .."wtf. do eu thk this is fun? eu made me suffer the whole night and eu still treat as it is my fault.." my whole mind gone mad .. mad as in really gone crazy ..at night i tok to her and asked her .. wat do eu really wan ? she said she donnoe.. and asked me do eu still wan me to leave..?
i tell her wat my heart thinks .. of course not.. instead of saying ok..she tell me .."no point le" ..my heart bleeds.. and i force myself to be steady..and tell her to take care and stay happy... but suddenly she tell me that she feel sad and when on cutting herself... and wanna go jump from 16th floor at midnight............... my mind go ... mad really mad.. as in i wanna just jump dwn straight from my house and die ....................................i called her and asked her pls dnt do such silly thg pls.. i begged her...able to see her online i felt better on the nxt day in msn.. but up till nw i still are afraid that i might hurt her again and dnt dare to tok to her ... i feel like just go and die ... and clear my soul.. and stop hurting her... and i am going crazy .. really going crazy ..if this goes on i thk i might just jump off from my house or any building which i can just die...

love eu x33;
19:35

Wednesday, May 28 ♠

today morning kind of feel gd .. cause last night i kind of had a good chat with my girl.. she is cute lo.. hahs.. but i wish i can see my girl.. be with her when she is in trouble.. protect her when she is hurt.. comfort her when she is sad...most importanly is to have her in my heart .. today my day was kind of like odd odd de.. cause when i reach sch my friend was crying at the forum.. my reaction was like wa wat happen..??? then she tell me she drop her fone on the bus..she was like a zombi for the day..cause her family is having problem nw due to her father being hospitalise.. and she also have some finance problem..hope shecan cheer up ba... then when i was at school ..i keep online my msn whenever i was in class... but i nver see my girl online..so sian.. and i was missing her lots.. she is always in my mind... but just nw she told me that she got online during the afternoon... and didnt .. dam..zzz ... at night finally i see her online...she was dam misssed ... i wanna see her i really do ..i wanna be by her side ..love her deeply in my heart..

love eu x33;
21:14

Monday, May 26 ♠

I am a real idot...zzz my girl .. i am so sry to hurt eu so deep.. i actually wanna give eu some space of life and dnt stuck to me this big block head le .. cause i thk i just cant give eu xin fu and thats y i say lets seperate.. i didnt knw that eu are so dam hurt.. i am really a big block head.. a idot...actually when i said that i wanna seperate.. my heart bleeds .. i love eu alot and i dnt wish to de.. but i wan eu to be more happy.... but i really made a mistake.. that night when eu hurt urself .. i suddenly feel my soul is compelety lost from my body.. my mind was as hollow as a completely dry well .. hollow and so deep within me.. the night i just cant slp .. i wanted to go see eu go find eu immediately .. but i doesnt knw where eu are.. i was so lost so shit so block head...

the nxt day .. i went to sch .. my friends see me and thought a zombi is here ... when i look from the top floor of my sch.. i actually feel gd when i imagine myself lying on the floor flat as i jump dwn... but my friends was beside me .. they comfort me........ afternoon.. i got a call from my girl.. she tell me she is ok.. then i feel as if my 1000000kg weight on my head is taken off..

nw we are still tgt.. happy and releave... but i feel that we are no longer as close as before..but it is myself to blame .. i created this .. and she doesnt trust my heart as it was during the past... but i really really miss the past.. haix but it seems imposible to get back... i only wish i can love her with all my heart nw.. deeply in my heart..

love eu x33;
19:04